Transitions

This entry is likely to change periodically. Life has been much more relaxed since I made my decision, and I'm excited about what's to come. But, I know I can't relax for long. I've already registered for several standardized tests which, I have to admit, have cost a bundle. I need to study for the exams, think about moving to another state and all the logistics that go along with that, purchase a new wardrobe of professional clothes (I jettisoned my previous collection of slacks and shirts when I left my last full time job), and I'm sure there is a bevy of other tasks to be faced in the coming months.

Transitions are always difficult. Giving up what's familiar for something new, foreign. But they're equally important. Acknowledging that helped make my decision to leave San Diego easier. I absolutely love this city and I consider it more my home than the city I grew up in. But I don't want to be sitting in my rocking chair 50 years from now wondering what I missed out on because I was afraid or unwilling to leave behind a familiar life.

It's something we talk about a lot in experiential education settings. And, rock climbing is a perfect metaphor. We often come across huge, comfortable holds that provide us with security and a place to rest, physically and mentally. But, until we let go of that hold, we'll never move towards our goals, we'll never have a chance to reach the summit.

I find myself looking towards a largely unknown future but also drawn to the events around me: I'm training for my black belt test at Sunset Cliffs Aikido and I'm trying to help others as they work towards their next tests, too. In a sense, I'm in two different places at once, yet not entirely in either. It's a powerful paradox and I anticipate the next few months to be both liberating and frustrating.

Decision Making

I've been interested in Teach For America since I was an undergraduate at the University of San Diego, about 15 years ago. In fact, I've wanted to teach for as long as I can remember, and I've been lucky enough to have numerous unique teaching opportunities. I've taught outdoor education and leadership in places like the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Baja California, Rio Grande River, Utah's deserts, and many other places both near and far. For the last five years, I've been teaching wilderness medicine for a company called Wilderness Medical Associates. They even sent me to Belgium for three weeks!

One opportunity led to another and before I knew it, I was getting invitations to my tenth college reunion...and Teach For America still loomed on the horizon: something I was very interested in, something I had always planned on doing. Something I never got around to.

I finally went through the application process and, as a matter of fact, was assigned to teach elementary in Washington DC last year. For a political science major, it was an ideal situation. Not to mention the fact that one of my best friends was living in DC. Still, the timing wasn't quite right. For one, I've been training in a martial art called Aikido for several years and found it difficult leaving that behind. I had worked too long and hard to earn my black belt to interrupt my training so close to my goal. And, I've been teaching the kids class at the dojo, too, and I wasn't ready to leave all that behind yet.

So, I deferred. One year to get my black belt, continue working with the kids and generally soak up everything San Diego has to offer (it's 70 degrees here in the middle of winter!). Again, I found myself struggling with the decision: stay here and continue living a fairly non-traditional lifestyle (I'm a live-in student at the dojo) or finally take the leap and get back on track in terms of my career.

I told my friend it reminded me of when I was younger and I would stand in front of my parents' refrigerator trying to imagine which flavor of Shasta soda would taste better at that moment. Root Beer or Cola? Grape or Orange? So many decisions. Well, I found myself trying to "taste the Shasta," so to speak, with my Teach For America decision. What would it be like? How would I spend my days? Would I still have time to train or would my every moment be consumed by teaching, learning, preparing, assessing, and so on?

The red pill, or the blue?

After weeks of angst and countless conversations with friends and strangers, one day it just sort of fell into place. I would chose the Cola...uhh...I mean to go to Philadelphia and, after years of delay, join Teach For America.