Teach For America – Philadelphia

Let's see, where was I?

2006-08-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

Close readers of my blog, and I know you are many, may have noticed a bit of a lull in the action. Well, I tell ya. I was coasting on fumes towards the end of Institute and, as much as I was looking forward to the final day, like Christmas, it arrived and passed so quickly I hardly noticed.

Suddenly, the collaborative I had been teaching with for five weeks were gone, off to Connecticut and Chicago, respectively. The "CMA" group, a dozen other teachers with whom I spent most of my time, scattered to the winds. Only two of us stay in Philadelphia. Poof.

So, now another chapter begins. There's really no need for me to rehash how difficult Institute was. Think boot camp. Enough said. What's next then? Well, they unceremoniously kick us off Temple's campus 24 hours after Institute ends and I had yet to find a place to live. I was waiting for the perfect situation to arrive and it just wasn't presenting itself. I'll also spare you all (and myself) those details.

The 3x5 card summary is: I moved into some friends' place for a few days until I found a place. I'll move the rest of my things tomorrow. I'm staying with four other TFA-ers, all of whom are "oh-fives," as we say. It will be great living with a group of guys who have already been in the trenches for a year (don't you just love all the military metaphores?). The house is nice enough though I really would have liked to live by myself after three years of sharing a warehouse with seven other people. Still, the rent is low and I'm only a couple miles from my school.

After two days of gluttony, I've made the most of the rest of this week, my last vestige of free time before school starts. I got my PA license and registered my car here, too. I figured I would go legit. Insurance is switched over, yadda yadda yadda. That all took an entire day of phone calls and waiting in line and running around. Tomorrow I need to pick up some stuff for my room -- I sold everything before I came out here and have been sleeping on my Therm-A-Rest (Gabe-style) in an empty room since I left Temple. Dresser by Tupperware. It's all good.

I start school at the end of August. I'm hoping to visit Mariana Bracetti Academy tomorrow or Friday to meet all the important people, get the low-down on the curriculum, and see my classroom. MY classroom. How cool is that? Between now and the start of school, I have more TFA training, a week of UPenn orientation/classes and a week of training at the school itself. I've been using as much of my time as possible lately to work on classroom management/investment strategies, parent/guardian letters (in two languages), and the myriad of other things that need to be in place by September 1.

The five weeks I spent teaching summer school were probably the most difficult five weeks of my life. Certainly in recent memory. I haven't met with a great deal of failure in my life, but I felt like I was beating my head against a wall...and even that didn't help (go figure). On our last day, I pulled one of my students aside to say goodbye. Kristy had been obstinate all summer. We were told by another teacher that she was diagnosed with something that sounds a lot like being a kid. Her reading and writing skills are far below grade level (which, sadly, doesn't put her in the minority). Still, towards the last week or so of class, she seemed to focus a little more; she called out answers that no one else was getting and was spot on in her assessment (even if she forgot to raise her hand). I told her I was proud of how hard she was working. And, when I told her she had the second highest writing score in the class, her face lit up (I've read about students' faces lighting up, but never knew what that looked like until that moment). She said, "I did!?" and I saw her eyes water up, as if no one had ever told her she did well. And, after digging as deep as I could to summon up my own motivation to get up every morning and beat my head against the wall some more, I suddenly wished Institute lasted a little longer.

It wasn't all a success. Neither Andy nor John showed up on the last day. I'm not sure I could blame them considering the fact that we already took the final test two days earlier. And, maybe they knew something I was only about to discover for myself, which is: summer school doesn't matter. Every one of my students was passed on to the fifth grade (a decision made far above my head) despite the fact that most of them had learned very little. One of the students on our roster didn't show up to a single day of class. She was graduated, too.

John and Andy were the two biggest instigators in our classroom. John joined us part way through the summer after physically threatening a student in a neighboring classroom. He had been held back twice, I'm guessing for behavior issues. He performed somewhere in the middle of the group academically-speaking. But he just couldn't pass up being the cooler, older kid in the class. The big fish in a small pond. His goal is to become a SWAT officer here in Philadelphia. I called the team and was informed that less that one percent of all PPD officers become SWAT; and, I told John he had to demonstrate positive leadership skills to even be considered. I think it was too abstract. I'm not sure I got through.

And there was Andrew who was very soft-spoken, but must have been at summer school just because. He was easily fifth grade material. Karl was doing algebra and had one of the highest writing scores, even though he's technically ESL. We lost two students part way through the summer to the ESL teacher -- they just didn't understand English well enough to learn in the standard classroom. And I suspect that at least two others should have been in ESL, too, but they didn't have any more space. You know, it's so easy to think of these kids as "not quite as smart," but when you think of it, they're becoming bilingual and I can hardly speak English without confusing the people around me, let alone converse in a second language.

Those and a hundred other successes and failures, small and large. I wonder where our 16 summer school students will wind up. I don't feel like the system was designed in a way to help us be as successful as possible with our summer school kids. They'll always be my first students, but I spent such little time with them, I wonder how long it will be before I can't quite remember Mark's name or Jane's face.

All I can do is move forward I suppose. Use those successes and failures to build my own confidence and reinforce my determination to do better.

Thanks to Holly for reminding me to write.

Week 4

2006-07-16T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm pleased to say that it's 11:30 pm and I'm nearly ready for bed. The truth is, I'll never be ready for bed. There's always more I could be doing. We just finished around of assessments and my kids aren't doing well. Which means I'm not doing well. I'll be the first (and third and sixth and tenth) to point out the numerous structural challenges that are thrust upon us by Teach For America that get in the way of us making big strides with our students. But those are fixed and there's more that we can be doing within those limits. I hate that our learning process happens at the expense of the kids in my class. I suppose it's not unlike a teaching hospital -- the patients are getting supervised care, but maybe not the best care in the world. Then again, maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

I'm staring Week 4 in the face. Last week was hell week and there were honestly times when I didn't think I'd make it. It's been a long time since I've felt that way about anything. And I know there are challenges around the corner; some I know very well, others that will leap out of dark alleys and catch me unaware.

We just got a new student late last week. He was moved out of his classroom next door and dropped off in ours a day later by the security guard. This student made written threats of violence towards his classmate so they felt it best that he be moved. Funny thing is, they neglected to tell us. We had to ask to find out what the deal was. Nice. I'm doing everything I can to get this kid on my side. He's older and bigger than the rest of the kids because he's been held back a couple times. He says he wants to be a SWAT team member, so I'm using that as a hook to redirect his poor choices. If I can get him on board, the rest of the class will be easy to manage. They implicitly look up to him. He's the lynchpin.

So, onwards and upwards to Week 4. Time's running out and I feel like I've never quite done enough. But, off to bed nonetheless.

My Dearest Friday,

2006-07-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

Friday. Dear Friday. You've been with me every step of the way. Every seven days, no matter what's happening in my life. You're there. Dependable. The thing is, I haven't appreciated you until now. It took 19-hour days with only 90 minutes off to eat dinner for me to realize how important you really are to me. When you're not here, I think of you every other day (except Saturday and most of Sunday...but I know you understand). It pains me that you are so far away right now. Five days to be more exact. Five long days full of teaching crazy 4th graders and sitting through endless workshops and writing lesson plan after lesson plan. And just when I think I can't take no more, there you are. Waiting for me. Just like always. I don't know what I would do without you.

Day Two

2006-06-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

Day two was far better than day one. I feel more rested. I'm more oriented. The sessions are a little more meaningful. There are still some frustrating issues surround time boundaries and such, but there's no need to rehash them here. I did a little yoga tonight, too, and feel a lot better, though I still need some real exercise. I'm hoping to get my bikes here this weekend.

I went to the gym here to check out the "martial arts" room they have. Turns out, it's pretty much a parkay floor, big mirror and a bunch of equipment storage. Ohh, how thrilling. I haven't trained in weeks and I'm jonesing. I can't even find a good place to swing my bokken around here. I might head over to Donovan Waite's place Saturday.

That's about it; same basic routine here on day two.

Welcome

2006-06-26T18:40:00.000-07:00

It's 9:38 pm as I sit down to write this. My day began at 5am when the alarm on my wrist watch went off. I made a half-hearted attempt at doing some yoga in at attempt to awaken the spirit, especially since the rest of me was still fast asleep. I was pleased to see it was already beginning to get light out – I was afraid it would be dark in the mornings. By seven, we were on a humid, sticky, cramped, overcrowded yellow school bus on our way to Marîn Middle School, a short drive north of Temple.

I feel silly saying things like, "today was long" and "boy, I'm tired." No kidding. Everyone is tired. I do, however, have some frustrations over the focus of our day. Despite doing hour upon hour of pre-reading for the Institute, we spent much of today going over things at a very cursory level, essentially reviewing things we already read. We leapt from one two-minute activity to the next, each instructor modeling a thousand different ways of doing things. It was just too much; and, we never examined anything in any kind of meaningful depth. It's just day one and there is a staggering amount of information we have to cover, so I'm trying to be patient.

After dinner, we went to the Welcoming Ceremonies. There were several speakers, most of whom were fairly engaging and inspiring. Wendy Kopp, the founder and president of Teach For America, spoke for about 30 minutes. She's not the most exciting public speaker, but her message is clear and no on can argue with the quality of the organization she created. It's really quite amazing.

I'm hoping to get a good night's rest tonight and correct a few of today's mistakes: I'll sleep in a little longer than 5 am; I bought snacks to get me through the thin parts of the day (especially considering the small size of our boxed lunches). I've tried, without much luck, to get into the rec facility. They supposedly have a "martial arts room," which could be just about anything. I walked in what appeared to be the front doors tonight only for the security guy to inform me I was using the wrong door. But I can't seem to find any other entrance to the facility. I'm boggled. But I need to get some exercise soon or I'm going to go start raving mad. Well, madder.

Part of me wants to go right to bed and get some rest; the other part wants to hang out with new friends, explore the area, be social. The whole weat side of me says it would be wise to catch up on sleep and get off to a healthy start. The frosted side says, "hey, you only live once."

Home Sweet (temporary) Home

2006-06-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

After five days of "Induction," I've moved from the Embassy Suites hotel to my new, though temporary, home here at Temple University. The suite-style dorm I'm in is pretty swank. We have a full kitchen and the rooms are generous by dorm room standards. I have one immediate roomate and two other suitemates. The four of us share two bathrooms.

Teach For America is *big* on reflection and feedback and my goal with this blog has been to do just that, though the last several months have been focused primarily on random life events as I prepared to move out here. I have to say, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Everything I brought with me is now in this room, except my two bikes which are still at Victor's place (Scott's friend). They have a bike storage room on my hall but apparently they're not allowing anyone to use them during the summer.

I have just about everything I need. I'm connected to the net. Have bedding and toiletries. My clothes are hanging up in a clsoet rather than folded into a garment bag in the trunk of my car. In the parlance of our times: it's all good.

I've been a little worried about the age difference between me and most of the people around me. I'm used to being a supervisor to "kids" (am I allowed to use that term now?) their age, so being their peer is awkward. I'm trying not to be the crotchety old man, but I'd feel better if the whole college party scene leftovers would dissipate. You've graduated folks, move on.

Luckily , everyone I've met is really cool. Those of us from the interview weekend bonded a lot and I'm looking forward to building more/deeper friendships with them all.

It's been a two month oddysey getting here. I moved out of San Diego June 1 and stayed with my parents a couple of days before spending four days in the Bay Area, then a day in Yosemite before flying to Philly for a week, Minnesota for ten days, then back to mom & dad's for a day before starting an eight-day cross-country road trip. Oh, then I moved into a friend of a friend's house for four days, the Hampton Inn for a day, the Embassy Suites for four days and, finally, Temple University. Home for five weeks.

And what a five weeks it will be. My days will begin at 5 am when I will wake up, eat breakfast and get ready to ride a bus to the school where I'll be teaching summer classes. I'll be team teaching with three other corps members and we'll all be working with various supervisors/mentors. At the end of the day, we'll head back to Temple where we'll have roughly one hour to eat dinner and relax, work out or whatever we choose before evening workshops begin. Our days officially end around 10 pm, though we'll have some group and individual work to finish to prepare for the following day. Needless to say, maintaining balance will be difficult.

I'm excited about diving into the process. At each step, I'm more and more impressed by Teach For America's approach, professionalism and forethought. I'm as interested in the company as I am about teaching. It's pretty awesome. At the same time, I'm concerned about the lack of free time. It's not like I need to sit on my butt and watch TV or something, but I'm used to training four hours a day and as it is, I don't think I'll get much more than a couple hours a week, and that will be on the weekends. It will be a good test of my organizational skills to carve out that time whenever I can.

A few of us were developing a training regimen for our hour off. It begins with changing into workout clothes in 32 seconds then running to the cafeteria and jogging in place while in line getting food. You can't sit down while you eat; rather, you should be doing lunges or stretching as you munch on carrots and such. Maybe a few jumping jacks. Loading up your tray will be like using free weights. Then, you run back to your room and shower in 46 seconds, get dressed again in professional attire, and get back to the program.

This summer is going to be a challenge, but there is tremendous energy and excitement and talent here and I'm looking forward to seeing us all apply everything that we are to this endeavor.

Maintaining this blog will be a challenge, too. I think taking 15 minutes each night or so to reflect on the day will be helpful in many ways, and will help keep the blog up to date. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to be up in six and a half hours!

Flowers for Zoe

2006-06-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

I've learned that many of my pop culture references are lost on a majority of '06 corps members. To them, Ozzy is just some dude on another reality show on MTV. Luckily, The Simpsons transcends generations, much like Zeppelin and umm Barry Manilow.

Nevertheless, one of my favorite Lenny Kravitz songs is "Flowers for Zoe." That Zoe was Lenny's daughter; the Zoe in this picture is an '06 Philly corps member. She and Matt and about 15 or 20 others were with me in May at the Philly hiring weekend and we all bonded pretty closely, especially since we got back to Philly and started Induction.

She has a sharp wit and a dry sense of humor, so even if she doesn't get my outdated pop culture references, she appreciates the spirit in which they were made. Phew.

Ms. Crooke

2006-06-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

Matt's cover letter from UPenn was addressed to "Ms. Crooke." He lasted about three minutes until he just couldn't stand to leave it uncorrected any longer and changed the "s" into an "r." Matt is from just outside of Philadelphia, from a place called New Hope (wasn't that the name of Episode 4 of Star Wars?). This picture was taken on the way to see the house that he and a couple others are renting. I've been invited to take the fourth room and I'm really interested (in the house and the people) but I'm not too keen on the neighborhood. It doesn't grab my soul, so to speak, and it's fairly far away from where I'll be teaching. But, we'll see.

Yeah, that's a good one

2006-06-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

La La La Luuuuuuke....

2006-06-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

Another brief stop was Sandusky, Ohio. I looked for the plant where Tommy Boy works but all I found was a giant amusement park. Oh well. I pretty much included this entry so I could make that joke so uhhhhhh I'm gonna go now.

Sandusky was my final stop before getting in to Philadelphia. I can't believe the trip is already over!

WiFiOwa

2006-06-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

Let's admit it. When you're talking about boring places to drive through, Iowa comes quickly to mind. But it really wasn't so bad. It was mostly green and certainly was more rolling than Nebraska (good grief). And check this out: their rest stops have free access WiFi. How crazy is that?!

Unfortunately, since I got such a late start leaving Omaha, I got in to Cedar Rapids at 10:30 pm. Kevin's wife, Bedora, had already gone to bed, but he and I chatted for a while catching up on all the random and inane jokes from our college days (am I officially lame referring to my "college days"?).

I got up early to see the two of them before they headed off to work (they're both lawyers) and then I relaxed a while before hitting the road again. I also managed to not take any pictures while I was there. I guess I was getting lazy.

Somewhere in middle America

2006-06-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, I played Counting Crowes as I drove into Omaha. Somehow, I neglected to take any pictures. Everyone says Iowa is difficult to drive through, but I found Nebraska to be the most boring. Omaha isn't bad, though. I stopped off at a bookstore and met up with a friend of mine. We had lunch and hung out at the park for a while catching up. It was a great part of the trip even if it was short. I left that evening to race to Cedar Rapids to stay with Kevin for a night before heading into Ohio.

There are those who call me....Tim? kablam!

2006-06-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

This was the second time I had been to Ft. Collins, CO. The first was during one of my summer road trips back when I had a ten month contract at USD. I wasn't planning on going quite so far but it seemed like the thing to do. Since then, Tim has gotten married, bought a house, been to Boston to do his post-doc work and has started teaching and doing research at Colorado State (go Rams, I think?).

Tim is one of the pair of friends I hung out with most in college (the other being Kevin, whom I visited next). He's something of a genius (at least compared to me!) who did his PhD work in atmospheric physics. He and his wife, Ashley, have two very rambunctious dogs (Bacon and Letty, seen above) and three cats (whose names escape me...Sunshine and Giggles or something or other...ok, not Giggles).

I spent Saturday in Boulder training at Boulder Aikikai with Hiroshi Ikeda Sensei, a very well-respected 7th dan. They have three-hour seminars every Saturday and, lucky for me, it was all weapons take-aways this week. I don't think I could have handled three hours of full-on Aikido at 5,500 feet. They have a beautiful dojo – very impressive. Ikeda Sensei did a calligraphy drawing for me of the Japanese word, "Ganbatte," which means, "Go Fot It!" I'm going to post it inside my classroom and use it as a rally cry for my students.

I was tempted to stay. Tim and Ashley have a great house and she cooks a mean chocolate chip cookie. World Cup was on. Great Aikido not far away. Why did I leave again?

Szchooooommmm!

2006-06-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

That, of course, is the sound of seiza (the kneeling/seated position one might associate with martial arts) a la Vince Salvatore Sensei. On day two of my trip, I stoped in Truckee, CA to visit with Gabe and then the next day, the two of us drove down the hill to Reno where Gabe trains and Salvatore Sensei teaches. Their dojo is Iwama style, too, and so things were pretty familiar. Salvatore Sensei has a unique energy and makes some pretty cool sound effects. Iwama is a very vocal style of Aikido -- lots of kiais and everyone interprets them differently. While I was training with Gabe, I swear I heard him utter "su!" Su is the kotodama – the primordial sounds of the universe that express energy and power and such – that can destroy your opponent. Geez. Thanks, Gabe.

When I got in that night, Gabe and I jumped in the hot tub on his parents' backyard deck. Now, that is style! The next morning, his mom ran to the store and made us breakfast. It was the first of two times I considered not leaving (read about the second below).

I nearly had to abandon my road trip on only the second day as a result of the two Russian girls who were training at Aikido of Reno. They're in some sort of Cirque du Soleil show in town (holy flexibility Batman!). But, I managed to escape their siren-like calls and, after lunch at a pretty cool sandwhich type place, jumped in the car and drove to Salt Lake City.

Exfoliation!

2006-06-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Jon and I used to have this gag that whenever you said, "exfoliation!" Pete would come bounding over the ridge, as he did on at least one or two occasions (most notably while we were climbing at the Santee bouldering field in San Diego). I'm lucky to call Pete my former supervisor, my mentor and my friend. I owe most of my outdoor experiences and early career opportunities to him.

So, I was excited to make his house in Arnold the first stop on my cross country road trip. I stayed with him and his wife, Teglene, and their two young boys, Cleary and Shannon (and their dog and cats). We hung out and caught up on each other's goings on, walked around "the lake" and just generally took it easy. Oh, and of course, we visited the local pool (I wish those "noodle" gizmos existed when I was a kid!).

Minnnesohhhta: My 30th State

2006-06-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

After spending about a week in Philadelphia, I flew into Duluth, MN and then got a ride up to Ely where I co-instructed one last WFR course for WMA. The students were a blast: most of them were camp staff and the course was part of their required training to lead kids on canoeing and backpacking trips during the summer for Camp Widjiwagen (which is where the course was being held).

Erik and I canoed into town with a bunch of students on our day off. How often do you get to canoe into town? How cool is that? It was a great day; the weather was spectacular and the bugs weren't terrible, either. Better yet, there was a BBQ picnic waiting for us when we got to the beach in Ely!

Oh, and Minnesota makes 30 states that I've visited. The rules of what counts as a state are always evolving. For instance, I only cut a small corner off New Mexico, but I stayed overnight. So, I counted it. I don't count airports. Anyway, the list will grown by two after I drive across country.

Gaglione Bros. 1, Pat's 0

2006-06-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

The first thing everyone associates with Philadelphia, so I'm discovering, is the cheeststeak. And, so the locals tell me, the Hatfield-McCoy of cheesteak rivalries is between Geno's and Pat's. So, one of the things I made sure to do while I was visiting Philly in late-May was to sample a 'steak from at least one of those establishments.

Technically, I failed in that quest. But, I did eat from a place at an indoor Farmer's Market that claims to be descended from Pat's (which itself claims to be the originator of the Philly cheesteak sandwich). Now, I've only been eating cheesesteaks for a year or so because I used to not eat red meat. But when a place opened up near me in Ocean Beach called Gaglione Brother's, I decided to leave my steak-less diet in the past and enjoy some variety.

Having enjoyed the Gaglione sandwhich quite a lot, I really was looking foward to an official "Philly" 'steak. Results: Gaglione Brothers 1, Pat's Knock-Off 0. The bread was a little tough, the meat was in big strips (which I know is more traditional) and dripping with greese. And the french fries didn't come close to comparing to Gaglione's (which may be the best french fry around, especially when they get overcooked just slightly and are all crunchy and ).

Aside from that, the trip was great. I lounged a little, but also saw a fair bit of the city. I've heard Philadelphia described as having a relatively small feeling given the fact it's one of the largest cities in the US. I trained at Donovan Waite Sensei's dojo in Center City, visited UPenn and met several of my fellow TFAers, too. I came out here ostensibly for a "hiring faire" which was neither a faire nor a hiring event. But, I did interview with a couple schools which may lead to something down the road. The placement process requires an advanced degree in theoretical mathematics and a minor in theology to understand, so I'll just wait until they tell me where to go.

I stayed with my friends Scott and Kristin (and their ginormous dog) who live very close to UPenn. They're renovating their house, following the script from "The Money Pit" as closely as possible. I'll spare them both and won't post the pics of them painting!

Bay Area Aikido Tour

2006-05-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

Gabe and I did a mini-tour of a few dojos in the SF Bay Area. We started at Aikido of Santa Cruz with Linda Holiday Sensei. They have a gorgeous dojo that they saved for ten years to buy and refurbish. We had a great Sunday morning class before driving south and meeting up with some folks from Aikido West, Mount Tamalpais and Fremont to train at Aiki Zenshin Dojo in Fremont. They had these doves perched in cages by the door. It was quaint at first, but got a little old. The class was awesome though. So much fun.

We made a trip up to San Francisco to train at City Aikido. Robert Nadeau Shihan was scheduled to teach but wasn't there for some reason. We had a fun time nonetheless. Their dojo is pretty small but that's to be expected in the city, I suppose. We met someone who trained with Hans Goto Sensei several years ago when our friend Richard trained there. She doesn't remember him so Gabe and I are convinced Richard has been telling us tall tales!

Most of our time was spent training at Aikido West in Redwood City. It was the highlight of the trip, for sure. We did some lunchtime training with Karl and his friend Jay and did a couple basics classes as well as two general classes. One was with Jane and the other was with Frank Doran Shihan. Aikido West was kind enough to allow us to stay at the dojo and sleep on the mat.

All in all, an exhausting but super cool trip!

Aikido of Fresno

2006-05-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

Last week, I drove down into Fresno for a night to train at Aikido of Fresno with Florian Tan Sensei. The classes were relatively small but it was a lot of fun. They were a very nice group of people and the techniques we worked on were recognizable to me, but also different. I liked seeing a new perspective. The dojo was very nice inside, well-lit. And, the mat was pretty nice, too. I decided to start taking pictures of all the shomen at the various dojos I train at.

Day Trip in Yosemite

2006-05-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

After we left the Bay Area, Gabe and I stopped at my parents' place for the night, then spent yesterday in Yosemite National Park. The weather was spectacular and the crowds were relatively small. The Merced is near flood level because of the hot temps and big snow pack – the waterfalls were gushing. It was awesome. This was Gabe's first time there so it was kind of cool seeing the Park through his eyes a little bit. I've been there a dozen times or more and I think each time has been eventful in one way or another. It was a great last trip before leaving the state.

I'm now in "final countdown mode" before moving to Philadelphia. I have a thousand things to do, both big and small (and all important) before I fly back east for a couple weeks, then come back here only to pack the car and start driving east again.

Sayonara!

2006-05-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. I left San Diego. After 15 years – my entire adult life – I packed the car and drove north. It was difficult saying goodbye to everyone (I even got a few calls as I was driving north on 15), but I'm sure once I get back east, I'll be too busy to remember. Luckily, things like blogs and emails make it easier to stay in touch with everyone. Of course, before I actually left, I ate a ceremonial burrito at Santanas (I collected ten receipts so my burrito was free!).

I stopped at Joshua Tree on my way north just to touch the rocks one more time. I went straight to my favorite spot (Gunsmoke) and worked on the route a few times before jumping back in the car and leaving the Park. I ate one last meal at The Crossroads Cafe and then drove north to my parents' place.

I'm trying to get in touch with my friends and family in the area and hope to train in Fresno, Reno, Berkeley and Redwood City before I leave. I also want to ride Highway 9 again and visit some of the state parks in the Bay Area where I learned to climb.

Here are some pictures I took yesterday before and during my drive north:

Ocean Beach, CA

2006-04-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

Much has passed since my last entry. I took and passed all my Praxis tests (phew!). I was pretty worried there for a while, though I did pretty well on them.

I also took and passed my shodan (black belt) test here at the dojo. The test itself went by in a flash and the community support was what I will remember most. My parents came (they've never seen Aikido before) and the dojo was full of current and past students.

The number of days remaining for me here in San Diego is written up on the dry erase board in my room – 12. I'm starting to say good-bye to friends and have sold some things (my parents took a bunch of stuff home with them when they left). I'm trying to hit all my favorite haunts before I go. Check out my Ocean Beach blog.

...in the meantime

2006-02-09T16:38:00.000-08:00

After taking the last couple years pretty slowly, it's been a little bit of a rude re-awakening to the world of paperwork and exams and deadlines and such. I've been all over town trying to find a place to get fingerprints taken (no one uses ink anymore, it's all computerized) and I'm supposed to list every person I've ever lived with for a background check – in addition to having some philosophical beefs with such a request, I can't remember half of their names anyway.

I'm also studying for the Praxis I and II tests. Praxis I doesn't seem so bad. I need to brush up on my reading comprehension and remind myself how to determine the volume of a trapezoid, but it's otherwise not much of a concern. The Praxis II, on the other hand, features questions about assessment theories and development models...neither of which I studied in college. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to study for that test.

Otherwise, I'm trying to enjoy every day. We're having Santa Ana weather right now, which translates to hot, summer-like weather. I love it. Rather than think about how much I'll miss Ocean Beach and San Diego, I'm trying to take advantage of every ride, every day at the beach, and all the special things to this city.

I also have an ongoing list of things to do before moving: update certifications, change doctors, dentists, health insurance, banks, and so on. It's a pretty complicated process. I'm also trying to keep my CA residency in case I return in a couple years. It's just easier that way.

One last thing I have to mention. One of my fellow corps members emailed everyone in the group this list of 20 questions designed to get to know each other better. I know I'm the "old guy" in the group, and I hate to sound jaded, but it seems like sort of a "I'm about to graduate from college" kind of thing to do. I'm thrilled that everyone is so excited to meet each other and get started, but at the same time, I don't feel like I know any of them any better just because I know what their favorite beverage is and where they went to college. Maybe I'm just being a grouch. I wrote a response but did it from Jeff Lebowski's perspective; I'm not sure if I'll send it along or not.

Transitions

2006-01-27T13:34:00.000-08:00

This entry is likely to change periodically. Life has been much more relaxed since I made my decision, and I'm excited about what's to come. But, I know I can't relax for long. I've already registered for several standardized tests which, I have to admit, have cost a bundle. I need to study for the exams, think about moving to another state and all the logistics that go along with that, purchase a new wardrobe of professional clothes (I jettisoned my previous collection of slacks and shirts when I left my last full time job), and I'm sure there is a bevy of other tasks to be faced in the coming months.

Transitions are always difficult. Giving up what's familiar for something new, foreign. But they're equally important. Acknowledging that helped make my decision to leave San Diego easier. I absolutely love this city and I consider it more my home than the city I grew up in. But I don't want to be sitting in my rocking chair 50 years from now wondering what I missed out on because I was afraid or unwilling to leave behind a familiar life.

It's something we talk about a lot in experiential education settings. And, rock climbing is a perfect metaphor. We often come across huge, comfortable holds that provide us with security and a place to rest, physically and mentally. But, until we let go of that hold, we'll never move towards our goals, we'll never have a chance to reach the summit.

I find myself looking towards a largely unknown future but also drawn to the events around me: I'm training for my black belt test at Sunset Cliffs Aikido and I'm trying to help others as they work towards their next tests, too. In a sense, I'm in two different places at once, yet not entirely in either. It's a powerful paradox and I anticipate the next few months to be both liberating and frustrating.

Decision Making

2006-01-25T00:49:00.000-08:00

I've been interested in Teach For America since I was an undergraduate at the University of San Diego, about 15 years ago. In fact, I've wanted to teach for as long as I can remember, and I've been lucky enough to have numerous unique teaching opportunities. I've taught outdoor education and leadership in places like the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Baja California, Rio Grande River, Utah's deserts, and many other places both near and far. For the last five years, I've been teaching wilderness medicine for a company called Wilderness Medical Associates. They even sent me to Belgium for three weeks!

One opportunity led to another and before I knew it, I was getting invitations to my tenth college reunion...and Teach For America still loomed on the horizon: something I was very interested in, something I had always planned on doing. Something I never got around to.

I finally went through the application process and, as a matter of fact, was assigned to teach elementary in Washington DC last year. For a political science major, it was an ideal situation. Not to mention the fact that one of my best friends was living in DC. Still, the timing wasn't quite right. For one, I've been training in a martial art called Aikido for several years and found it difficult leaving that behind. I had worked too long and hard to earn my black belt to interrupt my training so close to my goal. And, I've been teaching the kids class at the dojo, too, and I wasn't ready to leave all that behind yet.

So, I deferred. One year to get my black belt, continue working with the kids and generally soak up everything San Diego has to offer (it's 70 degrees here in the middle of winter!). Again, I found myself struggling with the decision: stay here and continue living a fairly non-traditional lifestyle (I'm a live-in student at the dojo) or finally take the leap and get back on track in terms of my career.

I told my friend it reminded me of when I was younger and I would stand in front of my parents' refrigerator trying to imagine which flavor of Shasta soda would taste better at that moment. Root Beer or Cola? Grape or Orange? So many decisions. Well, I found myself trying to "taste the Shasta," so to speak, with my Teach For America decision. What would it be like? How would I spend my days? Would I still have time to train or would my every moment be consumed by teaching, learning, preparing, assessing, and so on?

The red pill, or the blue?

After weeks of angst and countless conversations with friends and strangers, one day it just sort of fell into place. I would chose the Cola...uhh...I mean to go to Philadelphia and, after years of delay, join Teach For America.